A hand up is different than a hand out


Good Morning to those of you who are fortunate enough to have made it to sleep to have been blessed enough to wake up this rainy morning. Often, as I am writing something, when I go and read it afterward, I think of things I forgot to include in it because my hand cannot keep up with my brain. Before I go into what I wanted to talk about today, I wanted to touch on the fight or flight concept of the disease of addiction, and what it means to me. This concept was explained to me as such, a non-addict in front of a train coming full steam ahead has two choices, one, get hit by the train and die. Two, jump out of the way and live. This is how it is for an addict in active addiction. The brain see’s the choice of, to use is to live, and not to use is to die. So you see, we do have a choice, but given this choice we are faced with, for me, the choice was simple, live motherfucker. Even if living meant to go on the way I was, I wasn’t ready to die yet. It took for me to become so lost and in pain for me to make the choice to get clean. My life had become so bad that dying would have been an improvement, or so I thought. I was in a place where the pain I was in from active addiction was greater than the thought of certain death from not using. It was then and only then that I was ready for a change. This fight or flight concept is something for all of you out there that may be quick or not so quick to judge an addict, to keep on your mind when that ugly word willpower leaks into a conversation.

Now on the hand up, hand out situation, there is a difference I will try to explain. A handout, to me. would be something as simple as bumming someone a smoke. You are giving them something with no expectation of anything in return, not even them getting their own smokes. A hand up would be something like helping a hungry man learn how to legitimately feed himself. The only thing I would like to see, no expectations here, would be that this man or woman use the tools or suggestions I provided and pass the message. I seem to seeing an awful lot of people in my everyday goings on, that simply refuse to do either. This saddens me and weighs heavy on my heart. Everyone needs an umbrella when it rains do we not? If I have two umbrella’s, I will without thought let one go to a complete stranger. It’s just the right thing to do. It is the simplest form of helping I can think of, passing along help that is. Reaching out to a brother in his time of need may be what saves his life. I know a couple times in my life, if someone would have just looked me in the eye, and said hello, it would have changed some things. Doing the right thing like this in recovery is complicated. I am being told a couple of things that seem to contradict themselves. Until I can figure out what the right thing to do about it is, I can’t really comment further for fear of harming another with misinformed information. Do know this, though, my decision will be what is right for me, maybe not what is for all or anyone else for that matter. To sit back and watch as people in need are dropping like flies and in pain when I know there is help out there, and how to go about getting it, is completely unacceptable to me. So I ask of you who are capable of helping, to just give a little back today. To those of you out there in the grip of it, I pray that today is the day your life changes for the better as mine has. God Bless! Make today count before it turns into another yesterday you didn’t make a difference! Happy thought!14808857_307380089645776_1570360682_o

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One thought on “A hand up is different than a hand out

  1. absolutely!!!! what a lot of ppl dont know or dont try to understand is that the fight or flight response and the addicts search for their “one more” comes from the same part of the brain which, to me, explains a lot about an addicts actions during active addiction. they simply HAVE to have another one just as bad as they would have to act when jumping out of the way of a moving train that is heading towards them at full speed. being a recovering addict myself i did not know this until recently. it made sense of almost all of my actions while in active addiction. the obsessive behavior, the sink or swim feeling of sudden doom if getting one more was delayed, why i had put it before everything that i loved…even myself. i only became selfish when my addiction was in the drivers seat and never when doing so would actually benefit me. most or all of the time just the fear alone of not obtaining one more was worse than the actual physical symptoms i experienced if i didnt. and that fear kept me just the right amount of afraid. too afraid to go without but not afraid enough to stop all together. i have to be smarter than the disease today. smart enough to know when my brain is just playing tricks on me and tricking me into making me think that ill die without instant gratification. i have to sit back and take every single situation in and then attempt to exhale before i act on anything. it makes every job i have so much more time consuming and intimidating. addicts are some of the most courageous ppl on earth because every task is a fight for their life. for many, to make a mistake is to die. and just like the warrior i know i am i choose to live. a choice we addicts have to make everyday…LIFE and one”s self. good topic jay!!!!

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