Change in recovery

Good morning. This is a powerful statement that a lot of addicts including myself struggle with. Change for me is uncomfortable, but very necessary. It is suggested, that in recovery, you must change only one thing, EVERYTHING. I know right? I was comfortable living a certain way, in a certain environment, with certain people. It took years of me living this way to get comfortable with this way of life. I don’t just mean active using, but just the way I lived life in general. I was lost, without God, and in pain. I am a creature of habit, so, of course, I developed a whole lot of very bad habits. Again, these are not just using habits, but life bad habits. Some of the biggest ones I struggle with today are, but definitely not limited to, patience, preprogrammed response to certain situations, and anger. Now I work on many other things daily, but these are the ones I have on my mind and in my heart this morning. I want what I want and I want it now is still a big one. I have two sponsors that I run my decisions by today before I make a for sure choice, as well as a great girl I include in everything. Impulse rolls of the dice are a thing of the past. It’s not easy, but I do my best. Pray for patience and you end up in the end of the line at wal mart!!! God doesn’t give me what I pray for, he gives me chances to be the man I know I can be. Behaviors are learned experiences. I do new things everyday. I have a routine toay that includes praying throughout my day. I go to self help groups and do what is suggested to me. I am cleaning up the wreckage of the past a little more as each day passes. Trying to notice some of these old bad habits can be difficult. This is why it is so important for me to surround myself with positive people that are on the same level as me or better. I have come to learn that even in recovery, not everyone who smiles at me is my friend or someone I want in my circle. That there are people out there that do not really want to change, and misery loves company. So I keep my circle small and my eyes open. I do new things that are uncomfortable because living the way I used to was uncomfortable at first, but in time I mastered the art. I have complete faith in God, my support team, and myself that change is not only possible, but happening. I love life today and embrace change with love in my heart, an open mind, and faith that God will never steer me wrong. I can do all things through christ. I love that scripture, Philippians 4:13. Today, I apologize to those I have not been patient with. I apologize to those that have seen my anger. I am sorry and change is happening. To those of you out there in the grip of it, I pray that today is the day your life changes forever as mine has! God Bless! If no one told you today, you matter to me, I love you, and change is possible. 14522854_193156047775328_2255888444435477695_n

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