In a perfect world, I would never have the need to want to know what I need. In this new chapter so to speak in my life, I have used this method of categorizing wants and needs to decide what to do next, what to spend money on, or just in general life decisions. Not a bullet proof concept, but it has been working well along with other tools I have picked up along the way. I know I can what if the fuck out of anything. On the flip side, I can justify the fuck out of things too. So there lies the problem. When I come to a point in my life where I am at the crossroads or just not sure my decision is the right one, I have people I bounce things off of. People I respect. People I trust, People that are going places in life and in recovery. People with a significant amount of clean time. So, in doing that, almost every suggestion that I have received has been worth its weight in gold to me. Generally these people I look to do not inject their personal opinions or beliefs into the equation. Very respectable and hard to do. Without bringing too much of my personal life into the picture, I am at point in my life where this will not work. It’s scary as fuck. I have a horrible track record with making the right decision. I like to think that with 154 days clean, I am thinking pretty good for myself and my future. I guess I could say change and the fear of the unknown come into the picture in this one.As well as taking down the wall completely, life-threatening honesty and the most important commitment I will ever make again. I have made my decision on this and am going to stick to my guns with it. I have rolled the dice with my life many times before and won, but this time is different. It’s a calculated roll. I have looked at it from every which way I can think of. I have weighed the many pro’s and I can’t find a con about it. That’s what is so scary about it. This has never happened to me in my life, never. I have prayed and been shown what I believe to be signs that my choice is the right one. So roll the dice? Naw, I believe I am making a wise decision that is going to positively change my future for the rest of my life, and three days after. Inside joke. I am not sure but if I am unable to see a con about this does that make it a need and not just a want? To those of you out there in the grip of it, I pray that today is the day your life changes for the better as mine has! God Bless! Stay positive today!