Confidence not Arrogance


Good morning. I walk a little slower today. I hold my head high today. I stand firm with the decisions I have made. I admit my faults and work to correct them. I hit my knees on the regular and talk with God. Some call it arrogance, but I call it confidence. I give and do for people who don’t have or can’t do for themselves every day. That’s my job, literally. I work in the resource center as a work-study on campus. I give back every day. I remember like it was yesterday where I came from. I see the pain of the streets in people’s eyes all day long where I live. It helps me to remain humble. It helps me remember how I felt 154 days ago. This is what I am going to school for, and getting straight A’s. I know what it is like to feel hopeless. I know what it feels like to not have my “medicine” and no way of getting it. Being forced to have to do something so fucking horrible to get that next tenth. Literally living off of crumbs and fighting for my life to get one more because if I didn’t I would die. That is why I do what I do, not for the money. For the simple satisfaction of being able to possibly change the course of some bodies life in a positive way! There is nothing out there that compares to this feeling. I have had just a small taste of it so far, and all I know is I want more. This is what I am on this Earth for. My Father used to tell me that everyone was born naturally good at something. Well, I used to think it was pouring concrete. I may be good at that, but doing this is like breathing for me. It just comes natural. I have lived it. I was the streets for a  long ass time. It’s not something you can read and learn from a book or listening to stories about it. I know the pain the people I help feel and live. I know what it’s like to eat dog food because I couldn’t stand the hunger pains anymore. I know what it feels like to take food from plates left behind in restaurants. I know that shame and guilt and worry. That’s what helps me to walk a little slower. It helps me hold my head up high. It’s not arrogance or a sense that I am better in any way. It is because I lived that life, but I now live this life. I made decisions. I put in the work. I put in the work all day every day. My life is nothing but work towards my future and that of the family I am startings future. I don’t even watch tv anymore. Maybe a movie now and then with my win_20161106_10_06_12_prosoul mate. So arrogance, not even close. Confidence, yeah all day every day. Be confident, but remain humble. Never forget where it is that you came from and all that goes with it. I put in the work and earned the right to hold my head high. I walk a little slower today. I smile a lot more today. Life is good today. God is great every day! To those of you out there in the grip of it, I pray that today is the day your life changes for the better as mine has! God Bless! Happy Thoughts!!!!

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