Good Morning to all my faithful readers. My eyes are drowning from the tears as I write this. Real men do cry! I used to get so upset when I would cry, for I was never able to tell the difference between good tears and bad ones. I cry alot though, if you KNOW me, you know what I am talking about, and the tears come from both every day. Since I have been clean, 179 long fucking days and nights, my feelings have come back with a vengeance so to speak. I feel everything my friends, EVERYTHING. It’s a curse to some, but I look at the positive side of it and consider it a blessing. Since we are talking about blessings, I think I have just a couple to be extra grateful for this morning. As you may know, yesterday was my belly button birthday. This was the first and only birthday I have had clean and sober since I was twelve. WOW! The urge to drink was on my mind several times throughout the day, but I was able to use some tools to alleviate these painful thoughts from my mind. Only another addict will be able to understand how shifty and sneaky this disease really is, but I won yesterday because I went to bed clean. I woke up with the same amount in my checking account, and I woke up refreshed and ready to do the big things that are now expected from me. My girlfriends birthday is today, Happy Birthday Rachel. I love you woman, to the moon and back. Tonight we move into our first place together! So super excited about this. It is so much more than just an opportunity to be our home, it is going to be an opportunity to help others as well. Also, I have the chance to celebrate her birthday clean and be there for her any way she needs me too. All thanks be to God, for real.So many good things, so little time. Some people have said some things about my posting this sort of thing as being arrogant and boastful. Anyone who REALLY KNOWS me out there knows this is not what I am about. What I am doing is putting my life out there for the still suffering addict to see that if I can do it they can too. So please don’t miss the message here folks. I love you all and hope today is blessed for you in many ways, as today I can feel God in my life. To those of you out there in the grip or it, I pray that today is the day your life changes forever as mine has and continues to. God Bless! I love you and you matter to me!