Good morning to all my faithful readers. Current situation is a strange state of confusion. It’s almost a Twilight Zone episode feeling. Strange happenings, sudden changes, weird schedule shifting. Getting clean was a choice that turned into a commitment that turned into not just staying clean, but living a new life. I wanted to become a man, as I was living life as a scared little boy, wandering around blindly. So with staying clean came a whole bunch of choices to make that would, if I made them, would not only help me stay clean,but to understand what being a Man is, and make it easier to achieve. Honesty was one of those choices. There are many things that contributed to me becoming a master LIAR throughout my life, but being a drug addict help me hone this skill to levels most will never have abilities to recognize. So when i got clean and realized i wanted this more than anything, honesty became one of the first things i knew i must commit to. Like with drugss and alcohol, I have made a zero tolerance commitment to this in my life. This means incoming and or outgoing. It wasn’t easy, being this brutally honest, but easier than most would think. Most of my lies I told when using, I knew they were lies. I could fabricate one out of thin air, but most of them I knew to be lies. So being honest completely became easier and easier. Not allowing it is proving to be more difficult than I could ever fathom though. Some people are sicker than others, so who am I to judge? Well today like yesterday, I am not judging, but simply making the choice to stay committed to my choice and remain completely honest, in and out. I just can not allow this. It will start a snowball effect in my life that could possibly be irreversible. So that’s what brings this strange state of confusion. I am new to this life. I do not fully understand the methods to achieving this that deals with people being dishonest to me, especially those close to me. Today I go forth with a heavy heart and in need of all the prayers O can get, because the struggle is real, but it’s where character is built. To those of you out there in the grip of it, I pray that today is the day your life changes forever as mine has, but YOU have to make the choice, and to do nothing is a choice. God Bless! Smile and say hi to strangers all day! This blog was done completely left handed by the way. I’m trying to become ambidextrous and it proving to be more difficult than I first thought.So I make this one request, please, please, please, just keep it real with me. It will hurt me more if you lie to me and I find out about it, than if I was just told the truth from the jump.