Into the depths of Reality, head first…


Good morning to all that lay eyes on this. What a day. Today is the day. If you can play van Morrison’s into the mystic while reading this as I haven’t had the flow to upgrade yet to play it on here for you. So reader participation is born. Today is that day I have dreaded for the past 233 days. The heartbreak. The love lost. The “one” that slipped right through her hands and she let it, almost threw it away. Sad. It hurts. Stings. But what can I really do about it? Move on with my head held high even though I am crying hysterically. The first song I heard this morning was Zeppelins I can’t quit you baby, it has become the days catalyst. It was what got me sparked this morning. My mind and imagination is exploding. Dreams are being dreamed and achieved and lived! I don’t have time to mourn the loss of someone who never really cared in the first place. Things are making sense. I mean I am seeing things again for the first time. What I have been being told is becoming clear. I get it. Life is too short. This is not over by any stretch, but I must remain positive. I must stay focussed. This is a lesson I will not soon forget, if ever. Love is a game most people play with ones that are giving and trusting and getting hurt, but when you know her next three moves it is a little easier to breathe. Though I rarely take the easy route, I will take for once what I need. Class starts today and I have a lot of the homework already hand written out ready to be put on jump drive and turned in, so that’s on track! Work is going good. The guys I work with and for are out of this world and starting to become friends. I like that word, friends. I know what that means today thanks to recovery. So keep them prayers coming in for me for I am not always the what I appear to be inside that I portray on the outside. I sometimes still feel guilty for feeling sad. I can’t help but think I could have done something to prevent this from becoming a nightmare instead of the dream it once appeared to be. Love to me today is not seen as much as it is felt. I must not ignore this, but do not know how to deal with it in a healthy way that doesn’t destroy me and my chi, my focus, my total concentration! HELP!!!! To those of you out there in the grip of it, I pray that your life changes for the better as mine has. God Bless! I love you and you matter!win_20170117_07_48_04_pro

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