A New Man From the Blood of My Old Man

WIN_20170308_23_07_40_ProHe stands a little taller today

He’s learned how to live, laugh, love, and pray

He set fire to the world he used to know and learned a new way

The seeds of life have been sewn, this boy turned man has finally grown

He has been given a second chance at so many things

It is with a smile he looks forward to what tomorrow brings…

Hello to all my true believers out there. I have been so very blessed lately I am almost at a loss for words. The doors and opportunities that have been opened to me are unbelievable compared to what I was going through 9 months ago. I often find myself thinking about my past. Not just my drug use and drinking and all that crazy shit involved with that life, but my childhood. I always am thinking of my Dad. Every day he is on my mind over half of the time I am awake and lately has been in my dreams often. Oh yeah, I have dreams now! The days of face melting nightmares have come to an end! I have dreams now!!!! Good ones!!!! I used to blame a lot of shit on my dad, you know like the reasons for the way I acted and did the shit I did. Well, today I am giving him his credit that is well overdue. If any of you that are reading this know have known me for any length of time I am positive you have heard one of my DAD stories. Not very often have too many of them been good ones, but recently I have come to the realization that I would not be half the man I am today if it were not for this man! Everything good in me comes from him. My blood is his, the blood that pumps through my heart that holds the love and compassion, yeah, that blood, it came from him. My strengths and courage, yep that too, came from Dad. He taught me more than I realized he did as he was doing it, but some things have become clear to me over the last few months. I miss you Dad! I wish you could be here to share this all with me! The song I posted was our song. I would call from base or from wherever I was when deployed and I would play it and we would talk and I would cry and he would tell me that he left the porch light on until I came home! Good stuff! He did teach me how to be a good father without ever knowing he did. He did show me what family was all about, every day he was there after my birth mother abandoned us, boys. He taught us the value of a dollar and a hard days work. He taught us the importance of honesty and the worth of our name. I made all those bad choices on my own. I lived the way I did because I am an addict that used to be unable, to be honest, or have feelings or love. For that, I am sorry old man. You are and will always be my hero, my Superman. I look up to you every day dad!!! and can only hope to be a fraction of what you are to me to someone else someday! I love you Dad! I would give my right arm for just five more minutes with you and I put my stripes on that! Not sure where this all came from but I needed to get it out! To those of you out there in the grip of it, I pray that today is the day your life changes forever as mine has and continues to. God Bless and stay up. I love you and you matter to me.

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