High on Life…

Good morning to all the true believers out there who woke up clean with me again. Prayers to the ones we lost and their families. What a morning! I posted a song from my all time favorite band, The Allman Brothers Band. Ain’t Wastin Time No More! Great song! So the title I have chosen huh? High on life. Yeah I wasn’t sure how else to explain it other than that. This life and everything that goes with it is still so very new to me. The feelings I experience daily, the new ones and the ones I’m feeling again for the first time, I have never in my life really let them in. I have always, since I can remember being alive, just been numb. Even before drugs and alcohol I mastered being numb, cold, emotionless, and just absent of most things spiritually. So I still refer to things in a way I know. Life, she’s a slippery little bitch for sure. As quick as she’s good to me she’s kicking me in the nuts! Change is constant. In fact change is and has become the only thing I can count on with the sunrise as happening everyday. This too shall pass right? Well the good doesn’t always stay good but it doesn’t necessarily disappear, but becomes clouded and being the addict I am thoughts become eclipsed by twisted old behaviors and confused loyalties to what was real in my mind, well, for my whole life up to 280 days ago. I AM HOME!  I say that loud and proud. I have this warm feeling in my guts that I can only recall having two other times in my life and both times I shoved it away down so deep and out of reach to anyone who could take it away, I lost it. Scary shit to me. Today I can’t allow that to happen anymore! I wanna share it! I want others to feel this, to see this, and to realize they can find their way Home even in the darkest of times because hope shines so bright in recovery! To those of you out there in the grip of it, I pray that today is the day your life changes forever as mine has and continues to. God bless and stay up! I love you and you matter to me!20170312_131518

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