I’m Jason and I’m an Addict

Good morning to all the true believers out there. I woke up clean again! So yeah, I have a big day today full of chances and choices blah blah blah. Today, I’m just an addict. I am not going to focus on anything else. Today I’m just an addict who didn’t use yesterday, I haven’t used today thus far, and tomorrow…. well I’ll worry about that when it gets here. Today, though. Today I am just gonna be and addict named Jason who hasn’t used. And that in of itself is a fucking miracle and more than enough to not only focus on but be proud of. Many times and not just this time in recovery but the countless times before that I have tried to get straight, I find myself under the microscope. If I’m hungry, I’m high. If I’m not hungry I’m high. If I have money I’m high if I’m broke I’m high. See where I’m going with this? I have nothing to fear this time. Some days I am not hungry or have money and some days just the opposite. It’s not that I don’t care what people think because I do. I just have no worries about what they look at. Please, by all means, look at me. I am Jason, an addict. I am a lot of things. I used to be soo many things. I have made my peace, paid my debts to society, and my conscience is clean. The struggle is real, all too real. I am proud of the man I have become and never stop striving for better. I see too many people lose to this disease because of stigmas because they cannot escape the past. They just see themselves as society does, throw labels around like this one I heard, ” I’m just a victim of the things I did to maintain”! I’m sitting here like WTF did I just hear?! A VICTIM? No bruh, you are an addict you said so yourself. I choose not to be a victim anymore. I am an addict, my name is Jason. No judgments here, not now, not ever. The fruits of recovery are the sweetest I have ever tasted. Some take longer to show themselves. I do know this, though, you get what you give! I put what I did to get that next bag into my recovery, well actually it’s not even as much, I17372948_378670179183433_1823955404_o am barely at full throttle and life in active addiction using three or more grams of heroin a day was full throttle and then some. So today I am just an addict named Jason and that is good enough for me! To those of you out there in the grip of it, I pray that today is the day your life changes for the better as mine has. God bless and stay up. I love you and you matter to me!

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