The getting and doing and the finding ways and means to get more…

Good morning to all my true believers out there that woke up clean with me again! Prayers to those going through it and the ones we lost as well as their families.  Yeah, so that title huh? Makes a lot of us, well I cringe at first glance. But, after reading it a few hundred times, I see different things. It, as well as many other things in life, can be looked at many types of ways. I look at this as I do my recovery. I put into it what I put into using and all has been better than ok. Is it tiring? FUCK YES!!! But it ain’t shit compared to chasing that dope man around giving him my life twenty dollars at a time! I know that’s right boy! I get and do recovery. I am constantly searching for ways through the means suggested to me to find more. More more more give me more! I am a sick man, getting better. Every day no matter how dark and deep the hole is, it is not even comparable to the depths of hell active addiction had me trapped in. I was recently asked how do you do it and make it look so easy? Well, it ain’t easy as a whole but it damn sure ain’t as hard as some of the things I have done or did in active addiction and in the Corps! Head down and keep it moving! I just do, there is doubt in just trying. There are failures in doing, but oh the accomplishments. I don’t mean I take risks and gambles or do things impulsively by any means. When I rip off a band-aid, I do it fast! Sometimes there is no fast way through life. The struggle is real but where I find out who Jason really is. Confidence growing, in my faith, in the tools I have acquired in recovery, and hopelessness no longer has me by the throat! I am struggle! I say it all the time. I promise you that. I am a lot of things. I am an addict and always will be. I am in recovery today. I do good when no one is looking because that has become my new addiction. That is what blows my skirt up nowadays. A natural high I can’t explain. Helping others and spreading the message that HOPE is not a four letter word to be feared! Any addict can have it! Hope, just say it! I hope, I truly do, hope that each and every one of you has a blessed day full of peace and warmth. And smiles can’t17373065_378905675826550_1049372359_o forget the smiles! No song today to post with this I’m getting better with the silence! To those of you out there in the grip of it, I pray that today is the day that your life changes for the better as mine has! God bless and stay up. I love you and you matter tome!

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