Welcome to the Thunderdome!


Hey, hi, and hello to all tuning in this evening. Actually,  it’s the wee hours of the morning and I can’t sleep because I’m being released into the wild tomorrow! Yeah, I got my own place! First time I’ve lived completely on my own since 2004! Holy shit! A lot of you might think this is no big deal or maybe yeah ok it’s sort of a big deal to be happy, but not for a total fucking mad man junky like myself! It’s a cold hard fucking world out there and i know because I’ve lived it homeless for about two years before i became clean, 11 months ago today as a matter of fact! Holy fucking shit i just realized today was my 11 month clean birthday! What do ya know bout that? Huh. Now I’m really not going to be sleeping! Life, boy is she slippery as fuck. The last two weeks, naw, let’s go with three, eh, make it an even month, have been one wild ass ride! Let’s recap shall we? I find out what i thought was the love of my life, was pregnant. So me being the man I am, decided it would be best if i quit school and got a job that would provide for my upcoming “families” needs. You know, a good salary, insurance, a pension, and a vacation fund. So i did. I quit school, I was a deans list student mind you, and landed a union roofing job. Now let’s rewind for a minute. While i was in school, at let’s say the last two months before i quit, I had a job in the field i was going to school for. Well, being as it was an organization designed to help those in need i thought for sure when i came to them in need of help it would not be a problem, WRONG!20170504_185521.jpg20170505_004114.jpgI know right?! What the fuck is wrong with people? Who would make that a rule? Because i worked there they could not help me. Made it real easy to walk away from that. That and some issues with a couple of people that work there that have no idea what they are doing and would help society more if they were cleaning truck stop bathrooms, I walked away and never looked back. Ok so then comes the roofing gig. That is going beyond wonderful. Between the money and my foreman  and the crew, it’s probably the best job i have ever had. Moving right along, things with the girl i was with fell short. Actually,  they fell completely apart  along with my heart. She completely  broke my spirit and cut me deeper than any ten people ever have and probably ever Will!  Let’s just leave that one alone out of respect. 20170504_202650.jpgThen bam! This apartment comes out of nowhere! It’s so perfect for me in every way! The land Lord is a great guy with a great family. Totally awesome fit for him and me! I have all the furniture I need and that will fit and cleaned the place floor to ceiling today along with steam cleaning the carpets! So why the song welcome to the jungle? Why the welcome to the thunderdome reference? Well, after such an emotional roller coaster my life has been, oh yeah, what remaining blood family i have that will actuality talk to me as well as help me, are moving 1500 miles away in a few short days! So tossed out into the wild i am! Don’t take that the wrong way though. I am not being made to leave where i am at at all in fact could probably live here forever if i wanted. It’s has been a blessing here. I am more than fortunate to have been welcomed here! You know who you are i know you are reading this and if you want it known I’m living here you comment and i will let it out on here.  Thank you so much for just being You! You. Are the sole reason i am alive today! You are my best friend! You are the mother i never had. Mom, i mean no disrespect, i love you, but this is different! So yeah out into the great wide the fuck open! The devils playground around every corner and that monkey on my back otherwise known as addiction is waking up and stretching! It transforms! It’s a sexy seductive woman at times whispering the sweetest of words ever spoke at times. Other times it is just a monster, a demon, a vicious bloody savage screaming in my only good ear until i snap! I won’t be very far at all from where i am now but when it happens, i might as well be on the moon. I look to my tool box which i have reorganized recently, to be a help in this ongoing battle, no it’s a war! World war Jason! I am happy. As happy as a man who two weeks ago was expecting a child and planning a wedding can be moving into an apartment alone. Well not completely  alone, it’ll be me and loki, my gecko. He’s straight! He’s in recovery too. I guess, from what he tells me, those frogs you can lick and trip out on, yeah those are addictive! So yeah, what a month huh? Of course that’s not even all of it, but all i can really share for the time being as if that wasn’t enough. 20170430_214558So the Thunderdome it is! The jungle, the fucking jungle man. Because that’s what it is! Only the strong survive it man really! To those of you out there in the grip of it, i pray that today is the day your life changes for the better as mine has and continues to.  God Bless and stay up. I love you and you matter to me! And stay strong! If you are weak or feeling week, fuck man reach out!

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3 thoughts on “Welcome to the Thunderdome!

  1. I keep picturing cliff diving in the dark. Or falling backwards off a boat with my scuba gear on. None of which I have ever done, sadly, but surely all incredible adventures.
    They take that leap of faith, freefalling for a moment into the darkness, into a scary unknown world.
    But to let go and dive into the great unknown, the reward is finding yourself in this new, incredible environment; filled with wonders you would never know without falling into oblivion.
    You got this!
    May you bump into new fantastic things as you stumble in the darkness.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. There are no words strong enough to convey how proud I am of you… of the man you’ve become. I know this journey has been far from easy, and sometimes it’s been downright hell! Yet, you continue to trudge onward and upward, and grow stronger and wiser with each step. You’re a fighter! You’re a survivor! And, nothing in this life can hold you back (unless you let it)!

    Please know, no matter where your path takes you, you ALWAYS have a home to come back to here, a 2nd family who loves you dearly, and a mother/best friend who will fight for you, support and protect you, and bury a boot in your ass when necessary. That’s a promise!

    Love and hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

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