On and on, and on and on…

Yeah, it’s like that. It doesn’t really matter if it’s good or bad, it, life, just keeps going on and on and on and on. The sun and the moon keep cycling, up and down. The good comes and goes along with the bad. I’ve learned to really appreciate the good times and the good things no matter how small or insignificant they seem at times or to others. I bottle that shit up for the days when the world seems like it’s going to end. I’ve been down lately. Really down. My heart ripped out and set a blaze and left for dead like I never even mattered. I have been shown just how ugly humans can be. I thought I had seen it all when i was in active addiction, but the way i was treated by the one who said she was down for me for life has been a real eye opener to say the least. Scratching , clawing, crawling….  barely breathing, gasping choking, coughing spitting. Crying screaming and shouting. Angry , hurt and feel so alone and used. Broke down just short of paradise, but i made my home in an oasis of my own! Down but not out! Near fatal blow, but I survived by the grace of God! Everything happens for a reason not sure why God wanted me to go through this but he will let me know in time im sure. Just breathe and sit still. Don’t do anything if i am unsure of what to do or too scared oh hurt to move. I pray for you Rachel. I hope you find peace amongst the shit storm you have created in your life. Love will fuck you up more than any drug I’ve ever done! But im not sure this was love for you as it was for me. Life, it’s going on and on and on and on… to those of you out there in the grip of it, i pray that today is the day your life changes for the better as mine has and continues to. God Bless and stay up. I love you and you matter to me.20170506_065658.png

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