“I’m tired Boss”

20170724_201731G’morning out there! Am I loud? Prolly not this morning cuz I’m tired. So, today, it’s can you see me? Can you FEEL me? I’m tired!!!! I just woke up and I feel like I ain’t slept for days. I’m on a low. It happens, the lows and the slows, being manic depressive, and really just in life in general. It blows in from time to time usually from the winds of change. I used to get so frustrated when this would happen, but I’ve realized to get frustrated about it now or to try and fight it, only further complicates things. I don’t just roll over and die either though, even though some days that is all I want to do. It’s just one boot in front of the other Blackwell a little slower than usual! Some things just simply won’t get done and that’s ok, tomorrow is just hours away! I fall down; I make mistakes; I forget important things. 20170724_201208.jpgsome days, I just don’t have it the fuck together, ate up! Born with no thumbs! Pride starts to sting! Addiction and insecurities start to scream a little louder! Then, Duke bowls me over and licks my face! I love that dog man! Feels like I’ve been falling on my fucking face a lot lately. Life will do that to ya though. I’m straight. I’m no stranger to being on the ground. Because today it’s a little bit easier to get up when I have those 2 or three hands reaching out to help me up. Today though, someone just give me a pillow and blanket, I wanna stay down here for a minute….

To those of you out there in the grip of it, I pray that today is the day your life changes for the better as mine has and continues to.  God Bless and stay up! I love you and you matter to me! FOR REAL!

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