“I write this blog as a message of hope, on behalf of anyone find in they self! I got issues just like you got issues!” Borrowed that from an MGK song titled At My Best. It’s the opening line. Been spinning a lot of his shit lately. They say I can’t listen to that type of music anymore cuz I’m clean, fuck That! Not feeling people today. Not feeling being in public. Not feel in much today.me and my homie! I’m feeling that! I tried, we tried, Duke and I that is. He didn’t wanna be out and I guess I really didn’t either. Was just one of those one foot in front of the others mornings. Proud mouths go hungry I know this. I go so hard on everything most of the time that shit gets so fast and has the potential to be disatrous at any given time. I try to sit still and breathe, but it’s not easy sometimes. Self sufficiency seems to have slipped from my grasp somehow. I ‘ve Ben slacking on going to church, I know, that’s not cool. Sleeping and eating have become a chore some days. People are getting mad at my decisions. Do this! Don’t do that! Or my favorite, I don’t know what to say! Or no wait, my all time favorite, pray about it. Bitterness and desensitization are creeping back in. The darkness is more and more welcoming. Procrastination and the fuck-It’s have become the voice of reason. Strange things, strange happenings! That crow is everywhere i go again! Some things, most people, and society will never change. Most of the time, I yern to be alone. I can’t handle menial conversations. My mind races. Thoughts become flashes of light moving so fast they lose color! Sit still and breathe Blackwell! it’s a selfish program right? I’ve learned that for most people, there is no right and wrong. There is only this, people only gone do what they wanna do or what they don’t wanna do! Do right when no one is looking is just a thing of the past I guess. Ahh shit. It is what it is. Another day done, another one Bites the dust! Oh yeah, I got 14 months clean today…stay up!