Buenas Dias out there. Can you hear me? Can you see me? hopefully, after this post, you will feel me! PAIN! It changes people. at least it has changed me. It motivates me as well. I used to say I loved pain but the truth of the matter is I ran from it every chance I could! Change! For me, it is just another way to spell pain. Change is more than just pain though. Change is new. It is uncomfortable. It is awkward. It is the unknown! Change, along with pain and all that comes with both words, no, not just words, both experiences, is the only constant. So I say, “change and pain? Let them reign! Let it rain” Just for today though, I believe as well. I believe in the people I have surrounded myself with to be there when it rains when life starts to reign down on me. Each drop stings like a million little knives as the panic starts to overcome me until I sit still and breathe Blackwell! And Believe! I believe in those people, my family. I believe in MYSELF! I have done some really fucked up shit, but I have done great things as well! I am Jay, I am an addict! I have found that new way to live! I am the captain of my ship in this sea of fears!
Only I can save myself from my day. It’s all in the way I perceive things. I let go of the victim shit along time ago. I choose to be more of a creator these days. Do I still create some bull shit? YUP! But it’s all just lessons learned in the end through pain and change is then possible. Sit still and breathe Blackwell, and BELIEVE!
To those of you out there in the grip, I pray. Let me in or let me down! I am Jay and I am a fucking addict! God bless and stay up. I love you and you matter to me!