Sit still and breathe Blackwell! Explore, reflect, and think critically outside the box. There is a whole wide world outside my front door, just waiting, patiently. My eyes have long turned into dust, ashey holes where those ugly green things used to be. The fire in my heart still burns but is more contained. Even though it is still warm with that fire, I find myself growing cold and emotionless, numb without drugs. No is always going to be the answer to the question I never ask. Failure will always be the result of a chance I did not take. I may be blind, but I still have the ability to see. There I go again speaking in that language that is yet to be. The phrase, “they should have never let me in the building” comes to mind here. Trying to be that beautiful rose in a world full of weeds has me worn out. So today, today I am just a dandelion. Soon I will turn into that billowy puff ball someone will pick and blow on for a wish. Then I will spread and grow for every little seed will then grow into future me’s in another life, another world. Maybe in that one, I will have eyes to see? I really don’t know who I am anymore, and I really don’t care! The air is thin and the sunset is a lie. Time is just an illusion, smoke, and mirrors, confusion. To those of you out there in the grip, I pray. Let me in or let me down. I am Jay and I am an addict! God bless and stay up. I love you and you matter to me.