Good morning out there. The power that little phrase has the potential to have. That’s right, I said potential. One must say it to another for it to have any effect at all. Choices! Life is nothing more than one big choice. The only choice I do not have to worry about really is when or how I am going to die, for the most part. I choose to remain positive no matter what. I choose to not put needles into my arm anymore. I choose some not so smart things still today as well. I have proven that I do not need drugs and alcohol in my system to make bad decisions.
I almost quit school again last week! A few close friends of mine know about this. They did everything in their power to try and talk me out of it. No luck. My mind was made up. I had my reasons. As much as I had justified them in my heart and in my mind when my phone blew up like a nuke on late Friday afternoon with calls dealing with addiction and suicide and one of them hit very close to home, I thought, “not a fucking chance in hell I can quit school”! I included a post from on my facebook page. I get messages like this pretty often too. I do not get a lot of this on my blog, but I think it might be harder to comment for some reason. I am working on it though, making it easier to comment that is.
Life is a slippery little bitch that is for certain. She is confusing sometimes to the point I just feel like throwing my hands in the air but where does that lead me? Right! Onward and upward! Learning new ways of thinking is more than just thinking about it, I must do it. There is a big difference between intelligence and wisdom, but like my dad said, “when you’re dumb you gotta be tough kid, and you are neither”. Never really gave that much more thought than face value until lately.
So, I upped my game at school and now have three A,s and one B! I have my third interview in less than a week this afternoon for work. It’s not much of a job but will be more than sufficient while I am in school to get us what we need.To sit still and breathe is an amazing ability sometimes, but just like saying good morning to someone, if I don’t do it, it has no effect! To those of you in the grip, I pray! I am Jay and I am a fucking addict! We do recover! Look around! Let me in or let me down! God bless and stay up. I love you and you matter to me!