I’m only Alone if I choose to be…


Good morning out there. I blinked and it is Monday again! This monotonous life I live, I need, is that thorn in my side if I let it be if I choose. Up at 5am again doing homework and other domesticated shit. I wanted it, no, I wished for it once upon a time in the projects. It is like holding a mirror in front of a mirror, my life. I am Jay and I am an addict, no doubt. But today I am more than just an addict. Recovery is so much more than simply abstaining from what you were addicted to and eggshell walking around other things you really like. It’s more than just staying in the here and now constantly. I am forced to think about tomorrow and the great beyond, who else will? God?

No, today I am Jay the college student. Today I am just Jay at his best. Today I am Jay, Mickey’s boyfriend. Today I am Jay, Duke’s daddy. Today I am Jay the productive member of society. Today I am just that guy standing in line at the haunted house with his old lady. Today I am a USMC veteran. Today I am untarnished or defined by my past! Today I no longer run from my future. Today I need so much more in my recovery than just a meeting and a blue book if I ever plan on staying clean and in recovery.

Today I am only alone when I choose to be. I am no longer lonely in a room full of people. In fact, I do don even find myself alone very much at all anymore!

It’s Monday morning! My favorite day of the week! I know what my schedule says but it is the unknown that excites me! All that room and opportunity! Go out there and get yours today! I am getting Mine! To those of you out there in the grip, I hope! We do recover! Look Around! Let me in or let me down! I am Jay and I am more than just an addict! Stay up. I love you and you matter to me!22396456_471372623246521_2081987144_o.jpg

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