Hey, hi, and hello out there. I love mornings! I mean sometimes I do not want to get out of bed because I was up late the night before at work or doing homework or just living because I have not lived for so long a lot of things are still new to me. But I GET THE FUCK UP AND OUT OF BED ANYWAYS! I get ahead in that time that most waste. It is a choice I prefer to keep making. What are my options? I can either stay in bed sleeping and dreaming, or get up and make those dreams my reality right? The last time I checked the Sandman wasn’t knocking at anybody’s doors handing out lives full of, well, life. I fail. I fall but I get back up and look back at why I fell and figure out how not to fall that way again.
It’s like life today is my canvass and every day I wake up I get to paint my masterpiece all over again. And Music! Music plays a huge role in my life, always has. I made it through some of my darkest hours with the help of a few friends through my earphones! Sit still and Breathe Blackwell! There are those out there that are not so supportive and that is okay. Not everyone can hear the music and will throw stones when they see someone dancing their way through life with a smile while making it look easy and FUN! Some people will always just see me for what I was and not what I am and what I am striving to do and who I am trying to help and why. I do it anyways. People don’t like what they do not understand. They live their lives sleepwalking, afraid to do anything other than gather material things and inflate ego’s. Their Souls have become diseased and corrupted and their lives are without real and significant happiness or meaning. Mine stirs! My Soul, it is stirring about, heavy and wet!
So much of my days is determined within the first five minutes of being up and sometimes just putting my feet on the floor for the first time is the hardest part of my day. If it is good, then I run with it. If it is bad as in My body aches or I do not feel good mentally or for whatever reason, it is not good, I sit with my Homie, Duke, and talk outside with coffee and a smoke. I look at what it is I feel and why. Can I change what is causing this or just my reaction or feelings about it? Then I take a long deep breath, hug my dog and go about my day. Don’t get me wrong, I have several people I can talk to when and if I need or want, but not that many people are up at 5am seven days a week, except my Homie.
My dreams are no longer bleached or restricted by the obscurity of my condition. I dream big! I may fail yes but I have and will succeed! To those of you out there in the grip, I hope. We do recover! Let me in or let me down. Stay up. I love you and you matter to me.