Hey, hi, and hello out there! Sooner or later right? It took me a little over 38 years to realize this so I guess you could say it was later for me! Sooner or later you are going to realize that you are the only one that can save you from yourself! Sooner or later you are going to realize that someone’s love cannot heal you or keep you whole! Sooner or later you are going to realize that it is a whole lot easier to stay in one spot than to keep moving around emotionally manipulating people around you to get what you want! Sooner or later you will realize that movement is not life and that sitting still and breathing is where it’s at! Sooner or later you will ditch the victim role and take on one of the creator role and become as self-sufficient as possible, and actually, enjoy it!
Praying and Dogmatic tradition never did a single thing for me other than let me down. I am a spiritual man though. One thing alone has not been what did it for me, with the exception of not using no matter what, but the only thing that did was keep me clean for another piece of a second. Without that, none of the others would be possible! It’s a combination of many things tied together with the string that becomes rope and eventually a chain that Hercules himself could not break called hope and commitment!
I get up every day and struggle to put my feet on the floor! I struggle with mental problems, several that have been medically diagnosed, that I have chosen to go un-medicated from. I struggle with society and her ugly fucking stigmas. Sometimes even if they are not bitting down on me with their judgemental teeth, I witness those stigmas drain whats left of life out of the very same I am trying to help, learn how to help themselves! I struggle with the failures of my future. I struggle with can I do this another day? BUT, I get up. And I “MAKE IT HAPPEN”! What is the alternative? Some might even be saying, ” I didn’t read him write he struggles with using every day”???? Because I DON’T!!! I know where that road leads, where that life goes and it’s requirements!
Everything has a cost but the currency is different that is why only one thing will never keep me whole and living that new way I speak of. Smiles and cries, right? Nothing is given and there is no such thing as a free lunch!
Sublimation! That is and has been the main word in my recovery! I am not going to give a verbatim definition as I will tell you what it means to me. To me, Sublimation is using those talents I always possessed and once used to get that next bag, to do good with. It means to put into my recovery what I put into my life in active addiction!
Back to the title, Sooner or Later. I can only hope that it is sooner rather than later for those who haven’t figured it out yet! There is help out there available! Help not only for addiction but mental health help as well. In fact, there is help for anything that could possibly ail someone! True story! I promise! I have made it my life to help people find that help, no matter where they are at! I have an amazing support team that is willing to go to lengths most could never dream!
That is what #jaystrong is to become! It is a program for those that feel like nothing else out there will work. This blog site title is in the process of becoming something that will hopefully change the face of recovery and clean the grease of life from society’s lens of perception. Did you ever wonder how many people out there want and need help but will never ask because of what society will do to them and these people will go on to the bitter end feeling that pain or maybe even worse, not feeling anything at all! It fucking breaks my heart! There are a couple of twelve-step programs that force anonymity upon its members that I feel is what fueling society’s view of addicts. Why? I AM JAY AND I AM A FUCKING ADDICT!!!! I wanna scream that shit from rooftops! I want people to look at me. Look at what I am doing! Look where I am!!! Why not, right? I mean how else will peoples views change if they do not ever see the change because of anonymity????!!!! Its a vicious cycle with no end and turning the other cheek got most people walking in circles!!!!
SOONER OR LATER FOLKS….
To those of you out there in the grip, I hope. I am Jay and I am an addict. We do recover! Look around! Let me in or let me down! Stay up. Stay human. I love you and you matter to me!
Here is my cell number, 574-440-2864. I will help any legit request for help. I never shut my phone off!!!!4realrecovery flyer