Not Organic, but Produced…


Hey, hi, and hello out there! Mind-blowing! Mind numbing! Times don’t really change, do they? It has this weird talent repeating itself, time does. People sure as fuck don’t! Society is like two mirrors facing each other: it simultaneously reflects and creates the world we live in. The sad part is that it is hard to see through the smoke that some people blow to hide who they really are. So, I am finding a lot of things and people to be fake, false, counterfeit, thin, a facade! Who are you when no one is looking? I posted a song before this by 50 cent that has a lot of key phrases in it, well, for me and my life anyway. Mistakes, accidents or misinterpretations happen, I get that. But, mistakes that are repeated eventually become habits and on to then become everyday behavior. I am a firm believer of we teach people how to treat us! I will not, and can not allow this to happen to me anymore. Three lies I am tired of hearing; 1) I’m sorry, 2) I love you, 3) I promise. Please, please, please do not say these to me or anyone for that matter if you do not mean them! 

And if you ever find yourself saying “I don’t have time” or you are “Too busy” then just keep it moving right the fuck past me! People make time for what is important to them and excuses for what is not. My life, the way I used to live it has made me a bit of an expert at excuses so, please, get original and use one I have not yet heard! Or are you “Too Busy” to reinvent the wheel! 

I’ve come to a point in my recovery and in life where I have allowed certain people a glimpse, a look at what is inside of me, the monsters and the beautiful things too. I have widened my circle and taken down a few of those bricks from that proverbial wall. Some people have the inept ability to attempt to make others feel so small. You heard of me or people like me huh? Well, I have let you look into the windows of my soul: I’ve let you have a little control. You shake your head yes and say I get it, I understand. When You really don’t and your actions tell me everything. Some of you don’t even know yourselves!

So, here is just one thing I would like to reflect back into or out into that mirror of Life, From the outside looking in, My happiness now comes from within! 6 Am can’t here too soon so that sunrise can save me once again!

To those of you out there in the grip, I hope. We do recover! Look Around! Let me in or let me down! I am Jay and I AM an Addict! I have found that new way to live! Stay up. Stay Human. I love you and you matter to me!

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