“When I Grow Up, I wanna be a drug addict”! Life! She is crafty and full of ups and downs. Full of Blind corners and straightaways that go on forever! It takes guts to put it to the wood but it takes the experience to know when. Brakes were something I never thought twice about up until recently.
I’m not exactly sure where I am going with all this or even where it will end up. I’m just typing what’s in my head and my heart at this very second and four or five past because I cannot keep up with it, my mind, my emotions.
“Get clean and start a new life,” they said. They also said it would be fun. My eyes are burned out from staring at the Sun! Do this and don’t do that. More will be revealed if you keep coming back. Read this book and not any of those. All just preprogrammed responses from people looking down their nose! WAKE UP! Sit still and breathe Blackwell as I’m drinking from a poisoned well.
Heartache, pain, and misery! Why does it feel like I am the only one who can see? Crisis calls, slips, trips and falls! Fall down seven times but get back up eight. “How are you doing”? “I’m fine, no, wait, I’m great”!
Some are afraid to be real for it is the wrath of judgment they will feel! Fake smiles on peoples faces! Crowded rooms and empty spaces! Isolations and revelations! You can’t do that Blackwell! That’s against regulations!
To those of you out there in the grip, I hope!!! We do recover! Look around! Let me in or let me down! I am Jay and I am an addict! Stay up! Stay Human to though! I love you and you matter to me!