The “Mark”…


Salutations! I thought I would try out a new greeting as the old one was starting to get stale to me. Everybody wants to leave their “Mark” on something, somewhere and at some point in their lives, right? Well, at least I hoped to at one point and time in my life. The “Mark”, right? My “Mark” even still. I’m searching, hoping, plotting, dreaming, and it most certainly appears that I have lost my will, I have lost my way and am almost out of words to even say! My “Mark” has become a stain!

I’ve removed my eyes to bleach them and now everything is black and white! “You can’t do that Blackwell”! Then why does it feel so right?!?!?! I’ve got everything I want, I’ve got everything I need with my head in my hands and my elbows resting on my knees. Blackwell! Just sit, be still, and BREATHE!

Corruption! Greed! This world is too fucking diseased for a man like me! I’ve screamed for years down on my knee’s. I’ve begged and cried but no one hears my plea’s. Keeping up with the Jones’ and living beyond their means, gimme this and I’m taking that! When the fuck does anyone ever give back?! 

I have been fighting this monster for so long I myself have turned into one! Something must be done! 3,2,1….I’ve left some footprints in the sand and some writings on a few walls. I’ve made life and I’ve taken life without even blinking, never thought twice. I’ve walked with General’s and Ho’s out on the “Cut”. Get ready cause there is always a but…

I went from zero to hero but still, I’m stuck in a rut! Trying to hold on has got me sinking faster than I’ve ever imagined! So I let go! Blow after blow! The hits keep coming! I wake up that pile of ash and my feet hit the ground running! Spinning my wheels, I don’t think I can handle this! The more I think about it, I wasn’t built for this shit!

Laying down to come undone! I think tonight it’s gonna be more fun! Just one more song because the day is gone and the night is long…

To those of you out there in the grip, I hope. We do recover! Look around! Let me in or let me down! My name is Jay and I am an addict! Stay up. Stay human too though! I love you and you matter to me!

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