Hey! Those close to me know that the things that most people can brush off, Fuck me all up inside. So, this feeling I can no longer hide! I don’t seem to have the ability to forget certain things or people or places or events and forgiving, much like faith, is a gift I have yet to receive.
People, humans, we are an ugly species! We seem to be able to discard things so easily and the word “things” is used rather loosely here. To Discard: “to get rid of especially as useless or unwanted”… I cannot stop the thoughts, this isn’t what I paid for, what I bought! They race as I pace, my thoughts do. My emotions board that roller coaster once again as I harbor the thought of you another day. I try but I just can’t do it! FUCK! I am really going through it! Discard, vacate, dump, reject-to be rid of…
I feel about as privileged as a whore anymore! Paid company! Only I am not getting paid and the sex is terrible! One way streets and no parking signs- I need some cosmic relief! When will my stars re-align???
I feel so fragile today, soft! I seem to have been swept under a rug and slipped between the cracks in the floorboards. I cannot live like this anymore! One more day I just can’t afford! Thoughts of you surrender to my mind for execution, but I am unable to pull the trigger or even tighten the noose! Immortalized in that file in my mind just beyond its edge.
I find myself alone with my thoughts once again, Discarded!