Words are too loud!


Hello out there! What a night! What a night it could have been too though! What did I do? what didn’t”t I do? It really doesn’t matter to me anymore, does it matter to you?  Hanging on for dear life! This is where those that found out, nothing really that has not already been openly admitted on here by me, they act concerned! They make those phone calls to the other one who also pretend to care, but in the meantime, my phone never rings, and yet no one has knocked on my door! They must be busy, huh?IMG_20180314_181302.jpg

Do you hurt?! I hurt! What hurts me though is most definitely what doesn’t hurt you though. Unless, you too have, in plain English, right down in plain black and white, told those around you whom you thought “really loved” you, what was wrong with you and what would make you feel better. And the whole entire time you told them this, they looked at you as they nodded their heads in agreement and told you that they “understand”, but when push comes to shove, I am all alone flat the fuck down on my face and everyone else is walking around happy wondering why I am so upset!

Have you ever felt like, to tell someone how to fix you or help you or told them exactly what not to say but they said it anyway because it is what they would have wanted, it all cheapens it! I mean I know no one is a mind reader right? but after I have been around somebody, whether that is intimately , man or woman, I feel as if I know them better than they know themselves. Or, at least I have listened and observed! It feels like, why are you even saying anything at all? Why do you even care if for nothing else than to have something to talk about or someone to mourn and use my death, sorrow, or heartache for your benefit! I am tired and I shall now lay down and go to sleep. I will lay down and die for the last time! No more reasons, no more rhyme. It’s over, I tried!

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