Hey! Hi! Hello! My fucking head though! I should be doing homework but I can’t think straight! How many times have you heard that “I can’t think straight”? Have you ever really thought about it though? How many times does one ever really think straight? Unless I am more of a complete fucking weirdo that I have ever fathomed, I do not think I am alone here. To think straight, what does that require? I don’t think I possess that, whatever it is, and I do not think I want it! I like to think oblique! Crooked, twisted, off in a way you will never get, never think! A to B thinking can only ever result in C being the answer to the equation!!!! Imagination persuasion!
When you think or have thought like a hammer your whole entire life though, it is almost impossible for things to look like anything other than a nail! WHen to be the hammer and what nail to just fucking give the business to!!!? Please, do not judge me because I did what you couldn’t do!
This blog though! Some days it is my hammer and others, it is my nail! I will prevail! It has taken a shape I never thought it would, become something I never thought it could. Addiction! It is progressive they say! Whats that? Predictions? “They,” say a lot don’t they? It’s a high cost to pay! If and when you ever wanna live the low life that is otherwise known as that of Jay! When you look behind blue eyes, be prepared to hear what it is that I have to say!
Sometimes, some days, this blog is my needle in a stack of hey. I’ll keep on doing what I wanna do, you keep doing as they say!
It all started as a recovery blog. But, how much can one really write about recovery that is completely right? It’s twisted, crooked, smoke and mirrors! Judgments, stigmas, false hope and tears! Lies! It is pain! No fun, a strain! Is it worth it? Yeah, I guess as much as anything worth having is though. The hits keep coming and mostly land under the belt, below! Manic-depressive and I am past the low, over the slows! Too high to die! Too sad to cry! Bitterness and sorrow? Where will I be tomorrow?
I have all but ceased to exist on other social media and what a relief it has been. I think I am about done on here too as no one really hears what it is I have said!
To those of you out there in the grip, I hope! I am Jay! I am a dull boy when it’s all work with no play!!!! Stay up and stay human too though….