Distant Karma…


img_20180408_1011161013625811.jpgThe night is gone and the days are longggggggggggg—>flashes! No more Modus Tollens!

How did I get this way? What brought me to where I am currently? Won’t somebody, PLEASE, help me? Why doesn’t god just take me? He won’t save me! He can turn water into wine but allows me to crawl around continuing this Lie–I’m fine!

Walking the line–sometimes it feels as though the only hope is at the end of a rope! Studder-steppin, trippin. Somethin got me by the god damn throat!

I slept alone again, except for the moon and the stars. You say you’re right here, but even when you are, you feel so far…

I need a break. Not sure how much more I can take! Brutal honesty only presses these judgments harder against me—> BASTARDIZED RECOVERY<—-

I guess I’m toxic! Dusted! cannot be trusted-oxidized-rusted. brOKen and BUSTED!

Gaspin for air, suckin in ashy wind…I have no more to give, nothing else to spend…

He asks with a sigh as a tear falls from his eye, “why”? The tear rolls slowly at first as everybody stares at him in church…

I heard what they had to say, but it’s the wrong advice. My head and my heart feel as if they’re in a vise. Panic! Run! Thoughts–sporadic. I stumbled and fell on my way to what is comfortable–vises!

Here is where shit starts to get real! Sit down and pay attention, FEEL!

Emotional manipulation! My heart just skipped a beat–palpitations…                                       “having trouble sleeping battling all these demons”.

I feel guilty for being hungry. Demons on speed, the Devil on LSD! The sun sets and it rises and brings with it, each day, more surprises. Every day is the same–>different, insatiable but content…I’m spent! Everybody is the same–>real-FAKE!

My breath smells like death! SOmething has died inside of me!…My thought train was just completely busted! To be continued…

Stay up. Stay human too though…

 

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