Hey, hi, and hello! For three days I’ve been working on this post and couldn’t figure out how to tie it together, so here it fucking goes….
I wrote this for you as much as I wrote it for me, Baby! I begged of you, please, don’t allow me to become your addiction but you replied with “It’s too late, Jay, You’ve already become my disease”! Please, baby, please? I’m down on my knees, please join me in this new way of life, this recovery, for if not, it is you I will have to set free for all of eternity!
I sit here and write, and as I am doing so, I think, is this right? I kick and scream, laugh and cry, give in and submit in order to live for another day, just to fight? Stop asking me if I am ok or if I slept well last night! If you were here, you would know, and we both be aight!
I came to my spot, to tie this all together but something inside her just wouldn’t let her! Musta been the weather!
Hemmingway says “write drunk and edit sober”. I’m saying, girl can we just please start over?
I’MFRAGILE! so, be careful if you fuck with me! be easy with your hands if it’s my heart that you are handling!
The Last Waltz maybe, but it’s not the last dance, indefinitely. I finally found that new way which includes more than what they say, the 12 steps…don’t judge me, for even if you do, I still will not judge you, you BUM ASS DUDE!
I no longer got any business in the red light district, no. I make my own money, my own dough. I still go there though, hehe…
I woke up and everything is hazy! I slept in and missed it, the Sunrise. SO, today she can’t save me–shes up but refuses to reveal herself! She hides, behind the clouds, up on a shelf…
Gunshots ring out from the West-side and echo off of the sounds of the Gulls cry…I look down and there he is, by my side, my one and only ride or die! My Homie!
I still run when I can’t take the pain when it’s too much for me to handle! I’m not a runaway train without brakes though! Sit, be still, and fucken Breathe Blackwell!
Just because I’m living my dreams right, doesn’t mean I can show you how to dream right…it’s been so long, I’ve forgotten how you smell. You’re halfway around the world and still can’t find yourself! Roots!
No amount of guns or empty whiskey bottles could ever have made me the Desperado I have become today though, I’m no longer on the run for “I was born of Zapata’s Blood!”
There is one thing I forgot to say though, I’m an addict and we don’t know how to say no. I forgot to say my name though….
I’m public educated! Unregulated! Built not bought! More than your money’s worth than you ever thought!
I won’t stop! I willn’t! Ima keep being who the fuck it is I am being until it’s my name in neon lights you’re seeing!
I’m a fighter and she’s a lover. when she runs I can’t ever find her though, reminds me of my birth mother. Movement is no longer life for me and Happiness is not a sin! Inner peace and thicker skin my friends!
It’s me! I’m the one for whom the bells have tolled! Lightning strikes! Life and death had a conversation. They said that Blackwell wants a shot a life and I think we should let em! And then the Thunder rolled!
I have to go and make a call, but I don’t have a car though. It’s a long walk to that phone booth in the desert, but, I guess it ain’t that far though…
Stay up. Stay human too!