Like this, Like that! Splat! It finally fucking happened! I fell into the Fall! It’s a place deeper and darker than the blackest shadow on the dirtiest Wall!
I was working on a post titled When Hate is Not Enough, but, I decided to scratch that. Well, not entirely as I will include bits and pieces of it in this one and I am about to tell you why. Why I was writing about Hate and how I felt it is sometimes not enough….
I have found myself in this pattern of bitterness and full of hate as of lately! I can find no other words of wit, so, I will explain this very blatantly. I was reading through my Abnormal Psychology book over the weekend to try and figure out what my problem was and or more so a solution to this pattern I had discovered so painfully and this is what I read that ended up being the catalyst for change-“altered thoughts lead to altered beliefs which leads to a change in behavior. Thoughts change the structure. The human brain is remarkably malleable.” And, last but certainly not least, “negative stimuli produce more neural activity than do equally intensive positive ones. They are also perceived more easily and quickly”. These are actual words from Dr. Rick Hanson, a neuroscientist, and author of Buddha’s Brain.
So, of course, after reading this I got angry! Why though, right? Because I was caught up in that trap of being negative and the words I just read proved it to me! It’s human nature to want to find something or something to blame everything on and when that something or someone is the very thing staring at you in the mirror, I wanted to smash it! But, I didn’t! I took some responsibility for my life, my actions or lack thereof, and my happiness, which is not a sin!
So, I decided to write this post titled Comme Ce, Comme Ca. Which is a French term that means Like this, Like that, because that’s what life is? It’s the ups and downs, the smiles and cries!
Staring into the mirror, I asked myself, “whats the difference between me and you? Is there even a difference between you and me?” If there is, at times, the lines are so fine they are hard to see and at others, you know, times, they require being redefined-Them Lines!!!!
I had a hard time sleeping last night, so, I spent quite a bit of time on the outer edges of my mind. In that place where things are only visible with one’s third eye, where imagination is more important than knowledge.
Time to annex some truth!
That is all I have time for this morning but will definitely return to this later. Stay up. Stay human too though!