“Spare Change”!

This post is dedicated to everyone and anyone who has ever struggled, who are struggling, or suffer from any disease that society just cannot see…

That’s not make-up; those are real fucken stitches! I didn’t hafta relapse to end up in them fucking “Ditches”, for I suffer from more than just the disease of addiction! I have several mental illnesses!

Tell me, can you “Spare Change”? As I am battling Demons that most cannot see, making sleep hard for a guy like me and sanity an impossibility inside this BASTARDIZED RECOVERY AND FUCKED UP SOCIETY!

                                                Tell me, can you “Spare Change”?

I’m fucken Broke! I ain’t got no more dollars but I still have a head full of sense’ I am however though, still on the fence!

Blackwell! Addiction ain’t KNOW disease! You’re just weak in the fucken knees! (as i’m cleaning my stitches on top of the bruises from where 5.0 tasered me)!

“Momentary Lapse of Reason”! That’s all it took though…

I took some things that weren’t for the givin, as I lay here in this hospital bed asking to be forgivin…Tell me, can you “Spare Change”?!!

Inside my head, I wander, inside my imagination, I roam. I was homeless long before I didn’t have a home…it wasn’t even hard. to slit my wrist. That vein proved to be hard to find though. And now, it doesn’t even hurt, as I have cut the ties to that part of my arm as well as to certain parts of my mind, but, I doubt if things will ever be the same bro! Several people in my life were ready and willing to talk but, at every opportunity I was given, I balked…

ERADICATED, EMACIATED, FRUSTRATED, UNDERESTIMATED, as I laid there waiting to die, slit wrist and bleeding, it wasn’t the life that had already lived that flashed before my eyes, no. It was the life I would never get to live that I saw, but, by then it was too late though…

                                       Tell me, can you “Spare Change”?

There is so much I would like to add to this but unfortunately, I am in a manic state. It is part of one of the diseases I suffer from. Movement is life right now! so I will add to this when I level off’ But, in the meantime, Marinate on what I have wrote as part of the anxiety I feel and the way I look at myself is a direct result of the way people look and talk and treat me because of my brutal honesty! Do not judge a book by its cover!

                                         Stay up. Stay Human too though!




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