How do I make it stop when it starts happening again? How do I not let myself become after the process of coming undone has already begun?
I am fragile. I am brOKen. I am wired wrong. I am insecure. I am full of pain but in the process of re-training my brain.
I am an overthinker and today, I am lost inside of these thoughts that are impure and unclear.
Down come my SwitchBlade Angels to help make sure I throw that brick through the mirror!
Are they helping or hurting me? Well, now there is no mirror to see the things I thought of as impure and so unclear…
They begin to flow, the tears. All I want to do is disappear~POOF!~I’m a ghost with no sheets, making sure my destiny and I will never meet!
All of the sudden my face gets slammed to the street onto the hard concrete. My SwitchBlade Angels pick me up and say, “jay, we have someone we’d like you to meet, her name is today, stay there!”
Separation pf my past and what I was has just begun as I’m slowly gaining the courage to be what I’ve become. I shot myself in the foot, so, now t is impossible to run when these memories come back again and I can’t figure out why it is happening…
FUCKEN GOD DAMMIT! Why is this happening? That fast, I.m weak once again! I am heavy too! Is this weight just the weight of life? Hold on, wait, let me put down this knife…
Roller coaster! up and down and inside-out. Why is this happening? What is this all about? Too many thoughts with pain attached to them, Here we fucken go again!
Stay up. Stay human too.
#inthegrip #whiteknuckles #builtnotbought