Whole in The Wall

This post is a continuation of the before said situations…

The SwitchBlade Angels are all around and screamin again because they know I have no control to stop it from happening~the thoughts and the pain and confusion that’s attached to them…

I grab mu coat and take off as I try to run, but, I forgot. my foot has been shot. So, hobble I will. In search of that safe spot which has become my “Whole in the Wall”. It’s that only placethat makes it all go away, forever I wish I could stay…

I hobble down the alley with a mouthful of antidepressants ~~they say I can”beat it, but these pills will suppress em. I have nothing to drink so I gum them down as I forgot my teeth. I’m losing this battle and will surely get beat…

Breathing becomes impossible and my vision gets blurry. theres a nine pound sledgehammer in place of my heart and it’s about to beat right the fuck outa my chest! panic! run! panic! run! panic! run! It’s chasing me, but what, but who? The what is that rutt and the who is you!

No explanation for my need for isolation. Fight or Flight! I gotta have it and I don’t care if you think it’s a bad habit! Down the hole I go just like the rabbit. Except mine is being perched in my wall, Whole at last! No fear of future here or no guilt of my past as time here stands still. I don’t expect you to understand what it takes to survive like this as a man.

My SwithBlade Angels are carrying me now and on a streamlined fight plan. A couple of zigs and a few zags as on these antidepressants I gag..

Carefully placed or shall I say “Perched in my “Whole in The Wall”. It”s nowhere special, but it’s important to me. For when I’m here, I’m free. The music drowns out the voices so I can finally make my own choices and I choose to sit high up in my “Whole in The Wall” with the crows and the SwitchBlade Angels.

My therapist recommended I find a “Safe Spot”. Somewhere I could go and just fucking breath with my head phones in and jam or write. Well I found this little hole in the wall coffee shop and this is my interpretation of it and of getting to it at times. Stay up. Stay Human too

#inthegrip #whiteknuckles #builtnotbought

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