The High Road of a Low-Life, Part One

I continually allow my heart to become corrupted. Like broken guitar strings and old rotting cars, it’s full of holes, it’s oxidized and it’s rusted!

My hands are shaky, my back hurts, my knees are weak, and my head is full of disease. So, I beg of you, please, please, please, can you back the fuck up and gimme some room to fucking breathe?!?!?!

Intuition is the filter through which I experience this world! Everyday I walk out my front door, it is into a MADNESS that I am HURLED! Almost every single fucking day, I am scared to death to leave, but, by doing so is the only way I’ve ever found to find some reprieve…

Honesty! Everybody wants it, needs it, or demands it! But, very few have the intestinal fortitude, the “Power of Will”, if you will, to swallow the Truth, which, at times, can be a very bitter little pill. The ones that do, get sick. They become violently ill!

I’m gonna say some things in this article, in this piece, that are only intended to give me some peace, some relief! So, please, don’t misconstrue my intentions as I am not tryna brag as much as I am tryna provide a means of prevention, or, maybe, just maybe, a Mental Intervention!!!

What do I explain first? Where is it that I feel the most suffering? Where do I feel the most hurt?!

Do I talk of just exactly what it means to be a Low-Life, the pain, the struggle, the Soul Loss, the absence of pride, the overwhelming guilt and shame, and the excess amounts of strife at the continued failed attempts at change in my life?!

Or, do I allow my wandering and wondering mind to go where my feet are taking me, to the High Road, where, we can not only, once again, find, but also DEFINE!

First, allow me to say that the High Road is not the only place to go, nor is it, at times, my first choice, no! My sanity can also be found in the raging rivers and in the Sea of Fears, but, I’m not talking on the surface, I mean fathoms below!

Before you read any further, I feel compelled to ask, can you Spare Change? It is because so many cannot that I am forced to constantly rearrange…

And now, allow me to smoke a few more cigarettes as I contemplate my future regrets…

It’s a great big old white world we live in, I’m white, but I’ve never felt privileged! More like, I’m constantly, about to, with closed eyes, step off of a god damn ledge!

Again, before I explain the Low-Life and or the High Road he or she is so often forced to take, please, allow me to say something else so’s there is no mistake…

Myself, as well as those like me, are cut from a different cloth,and what it takes to make this fabric can no longer be found! What I mean is, people such as we, when we die, our kind will be forever lost into that hole in the sky!

I look around and I’m alone! Where is everybody? Where is my buddy?!

I no longer wish to pretend that tomorrow is not the end! My search for fame only proves that, everyday is filled with love loss and shame!

Well, allow me to start where I find peace and a little healing for my torn and tattered heart, the High Road….

By definition, taking the High Road means that one shall no longer have to lean as this path will lead them in a “morally superior approach towards something”…

This is something that a Low-Life, such as I, was not born with the ability to find. It is not within the wiring of my mind!

To take the High Road, what ever do I mean?! Well, for me, it means to sit the fuck down breathe, and not go full-fucking-throttle! To look back on some old philosophy notes and read some Aristotle and try to figure out just where the fuck I stand when it comes to his, “Golden Mean”!

So, to try to take the High Road that helps one become superior morally….Is one born with this gift of intuition, or can one learn this from reading a definition?!

I’ve taken every pill known to man, and nothing I’ve ever ingested has helped me with this, especially orally! You must KNOW where you stand! Know your god damn position and climb through that hole, that rotten incision!

I’ve defined, somewhat, the definition of the High Road. So, now, let’s talk about why it is so important to go there…

This world is a cesspool and, just like my heart, it’s oxidized, full of holes, brOKen, busted, and full of corruption! My body is just a vehicle for my Soul and my Soul contains all of my morals and beliefs. SO, when my body is travelling a million miles per hour down the highway of life and troubled times begin to show themselves on the road ahead, I am forced to take one of two exits. One being the High Road, which, will help me to become morally superior. The other is what’s easiest, the road to no where, no destination, no pain, and numbness….

In an attempt to try to save myself, my Soul’s vehicle habitually starts going towards the easy way as I begin to feel control of the wheel start slipping away! This happens to me, the Low-Life, without even knowing it and before I know it, away is where I am throwing it!

Even though it’s a road to no where, I feel as though I’ve already been here! I feel comfortable being numb! I’m oblivious, at first, to what’s already begun, until it’s too late…

I cannot speak for all of the Low-Lives out there anymore than I can the non-Low_Lives, nor am I even saying that anyone person out there, other than I, is a Low-Life…

But, what I am saying is, that it takes grit to take the High Road. It takes a look through a clear lens of perception and no fear of rejection while maintaining one’s own perception, and, for doing so, not expecting a reception….

This is to be continued…

Stay tuned. Stay up. Stay Human too…

#fightofmylife #builtnotbought

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