when worlds collide…

i gotta confess, i’m a beautiful mess. it’s from those around me, from those i’ve chosen to surround me and not something i’ve done. this i can attest…

i hit my bong all stressy! sometimes, my house ain’t all that’s messy. it’s a reflection of my mind. i look, and i look, but order, i cannot find let alone define. constantly walking that line tryna convince myself that, if i step over, i’ll be fine. so, go ahead and unwind, go ahead, relax your spine…

looking really hard through the crax, and, between the lines…

when i take these pills like i’m prescribed off the shelf, it’s as if anothers’ skin i have jumped in and i’m thinking through anothers mind!

whatcha know bout life blackwell? “not much”…

whatcha know about love blackwell? “even less”…

here are two things i do know though, that encompass both…

are you ready for this????

1 )people are gonna do what they wanna do…

2) people ain’t gonna do what they don’t wanna do!

—>!READ THAT AGAIN!<—

i’m sick and because of this, so much will forever remain unfixed, but, i accept this…

life isn’t hard. life is life, but, this world is cruel enough. low fidelity~high voltage..when you’re dumb you gotta be tough, and my Daddy said i am neither…

i can really only speak for myself here and be my own devils advocate. recovery and this new life i seek, this new life i live, constantly forces me to do what i don’t wanna do. i’m talking about me, not you. all the things i used to do, i can no longer do…

i grew comfortable with being uncomfortable at a very young age. you would think this would make recovery easy…that would be a mistake…

i’m forced everyday to take un-calculated risks, to do things i’ve never done, to be successful. but, sometimes, that means i have to eat shit by the spoonful in order to remain uncomfortable, just to try and be comfortable….

i’m tired of fighting, i’m tired of hiding it, I”M FUCKING SICK! AND MY WORLDS, WILL CONTINUE TO COLLIDE! Please oh please, let me off of this ride!

stay up; stay human too…

#builtnotbought #inthegrip #whiteknuckles

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