Compromised Pride

It’s 1:19 am and the ability to sleep escapes me, yet again. I used to become frustrated when this would happen, but, anymore, to me, being frustrated is so over-rated! My mind though, it feels like shredded cheese. Like it has been grated, ReduCed! And each one of these million thoughts, these smaller chunks of cheese, are what is being produced, they are what is used…

When this happens, my thoughts begin clappin, and one by one, they all get in line with time. Reasons and Rhymes! A gateway through time, a new Hole in The Sky…

Sleepless nights! God Dammit! Schizophrenic! Time to panic! Paranoia has begun to take control of my Soul, and I let it. I allowed it! I bowed down to it! It’s the one way I’ve found, that helps me get through it! I must though, not allow myself to get too used to it…

Point Break! The point of no return, of no escape! I can’t take it back, it’s over with, it’s too late! Compromised Pride, yet again and on another sleepless night. There’ll be plenty of time to mourn me in the morning, but right now, in my mind, I’ve already entered the ring and am preparing for a brutal and bloody fight…

BeetleJuice, BeetleJuice, BeetleJuice! and just like that, My Demons have been let loose!

I pick up the cold, blue, steel. It’s not a gun, nor is it a knife. It’s heavier than a nine pound sledgehammer. It’s my pen and it’s saving my fucking LIFE!

These words I write, to some, they may not be right, and to others, they may not be nice. Well, I ain’t tryna be all pretty and nice, no! I’m trying to live through another fucking night!!!!!!

I entered the ring, and did so, willingly. But, I know I cannot win this fight. I just have nothing better to do…

I’ve just been hit, but it wasn’t a knock out blow though. Even still, my vision has been left blurred! They are starting to fall off the lines, my words!

I fire back with a combo, a trio of quick, sharp, jabs. My Demons are getting weak in the knees, but they are also fucking mad! Time to dance. Move Around!!!!!!!!!!!!

It just ended, the round, and a new one has already begun. Time to square up as there is no more room to run. The bell rings. I can’t see straight and all my ears do is ring!

Oh no! I don’t do Coke or shoot Dope no more. Here, take my coat and hang it on the hook on the back of the door…

Ding! Ding! Ding! Round three and I can’t see and I’m weak in the knees!

I spit my mouthpiece out and I’m ready, if I have to, to bite this Bitch, but not in half though, no. And, POW!, just like that, it’s over with. My Mind gets The Slows!

Aw FUCK! The demons are on a killing spree again! There’s no time for rejection. I must accept this. I’m now hotter than an infection! Who else wants to die tonight with me?! I’m fucking SICK! Why can’t you see this!

“To be human is to have more than a moment of genius. The genius are often insane, and the insane are often genius” Duality of Life!

Stay up; Stay human too….

#inthegrip #whiteknuckles #builtnotbought

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