“Dis-Stained”

Welcome to my nightmare. somebody shut them doors and somebody else, FUCKING LOCK ’em! Now that you’re all in, sit down, shut up. and for once, just listen!

It’s not love nor is it hate, it’s ink that runs through my veins-the opposite of all pleasure is more fucken pain!

You’ll never wash this off, it’s blood! That’s why they call it a stain…

Blackwell!!! Why do you say these things? “Don’t judge me cause I don’t have the same restraint! I’m Jay-Mother-Fucking-Blackwell and I will not refrain! I also, will no longer be “Dis-Stained”!!!!

It’s on this paper that I will continue to bleed because I’d rather be heard than be seen. Sometimes, the messages aren’t write there on them lines, it’s somewhere else they lie, inside the in between!

Some of this ink may rub off of this paper and onto your skin-Osmosis! Happiness is not a Sin! Let that sink in! I still ain’t asking to be forgiven!

I need to make some new pens and fill ’em with the “Un-Cut” and then write some more words that hit you right in the fucking Gut!

You do remember right? Oh, it’s on these straight lines I bleed words that are curvy! The type that, when you try and repeat, will give you scurvy!

I’m in a new place and it’s a new time. I’m doing some of the same old things and I still can’t fucken sing, but, I sure can flow and bet that ass I can fucken rhyme!

I’m Wyatt Earp and this is the wild west! This is my world now, y’all are just living in it! To all my haters, I give you my best…

Stay Up. Stay Human Too!

#inthegrip #whiteknuckles #builtnotbought

Situational Abnormality

I feel like water today.

Situation, by definition, means of, relating to, or appropriate to a situation or situational ethics. Pretty cut and dry, I’d say.

Now, abnormality, on the other hand, is defined as something abnormal; the quality or state of being abnormal. I’m feeling a lot of grey area here, especially of abnormality is predetermined or largely shaped by immediate social standards and may come with swift and severe ramifications from society.

Situational Abnormality

The 4 D’s of the DSM-5, or, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, fifth edition, are-

1-Deviant-different, extreme, unusual, perhaps bizarre.

2-Dysfunctional-interferes with daily activities.

3-Distressing-unpleasant and upsetting to oneself.

4-Dangerous-careless, hostile.

With Danger sounding the most severe, it is usually the exception rather than the rule.

Enter in the fact that there are so many different sub-cultures these days that are self-labeled, are they not just eccentric? What if someone does something that appears drastic to their society’s standards but is overlooked by a certain situation that quiets the judgments or lessens the ramifications, and that “something” is something that someone else in the very same society does frequently?

When society attempts to define abnormalities in personalities, are they not raising as many questions as they are answers?

Situational Abnormality

Clean off your lens of perception and widen your frame of reference and please, don’t judge a life you’ve never lived!

Stay up. Stay human.

#inthegrip #whiteknuckles #builtnotbought

After the Disaster

i lived life as a square peg when all i saw was circles i was tryna fit in. so much to say, i am all over the place-not sure where to begin-my mind races and my stomach, it flips…

                                                       After the Disaster

the clouds are low, and moving fast. i reach up to touch them, but, they are gone, it didn’t last…it’s free now, my mind, it’s wandering, free now to roam-imagination takes ahold…

my soul is no longer numb and my feet are up as they no longer feel the urge to run…

i spent millions trying not to feel in order to remain numb, living low, surviving off of crumbs. everywhere i turned, all i saw were cliques. everywhere i looked, all i saw were problems i could not fix

life was a living hell, one big downer. i lived as a gypsy does, so i was always the fucking out of towner..

sometimes, i think, alone is all i will ever be. i sit and let that marinate in my soul, i let it resonate, but i don’t think too long as i do not wanna be late…which i something i no longer wish to be as it will be Gypsy blood forever that i will bleed…

it is not the dull needle or the dirty spoon to which i turn to anymore for…i am no longer only as priviledged as a whore…

i still go days without sleep though…there was once a time, but not right now, though..i’m gonna lay here and die slow…

                                                    After the Disaster

Haters and Instigators!

Welcome ladies and Germs! Some of you will read what I write, but few will hear what I say and the other ones will shake their heads while they smile and swear they’ve heard~my words! but the only thing they feel from them is fear because they don’ handle it well, the truth, especially coming from me and oh how so uncouth…

Twisted and crooked thoughts being spilt, but only like one or two of you have what it takes to see and read and believe what it is that’s between the lines!

I am my parents worst nightmare; this couldn’t be more clear. I’m a public educated thug with more velocity than a 12 gauge slug! kaboom! if you heard it, you didn’t feel it and if you felt it, you didn’t hear it, you’re fucking DEAD!

                                            ~!!!REVALUATION OF ALL VALUES!!!~

CCrucifiedby self suicide!~Shot-gun blast!~nightmares and dayscreams!

The beat isn’t fast, but it’s steady. You’d better get it if you ain’t already, ya know, ready!!!???

They ain’t coming from drums. That’s as easy to tell as the air is thin~but, they are coming from some sort of skin~back to the beginning and start over, no, wait, begin again!

Words that are so hot they be searing closed my woundsfrom them knives in my back, cuz, I’m constantly under attack!

Neurotic~eroic~demonic~sporadic~hypnotic~maladjusted~DUSTED!!!

~!Wicked and twisted!~I am brOKen! I am FINE!walking that thin line so hard and so tight~Bloody knuckles and rusted belt buckles…

It’s the deviates amongst us that hold society together! LET THE SUFFERING SPEAK! Stay up. Stay Human too though

#builtnotbought   #filetofsoul   #inthegrip