Watch “Eddie and the Cruisers – Tender Years (HQ)” on YouTube

Advertisements

Duplicity

I can’t find any antiseptic for this anapestic style I have found and the thought provoking mental chains continue, to keep me bound.

Born and bred to be a fighter, to yearn to breathe the open air, made it hard to see, let alone believe, that freedom wasn’t in the fight, but in the surrender. Some things had to be revered, while others are forced to be severed.

What is more important, revelation or reason? I had to realize that freedom wasn’t free when the cost that was paid, was treason.

3-4am, the hour in witch time stands still and nightmares become reality. Insanity, subconsciously chosen, will always cause time to remain frozen~absence of movement…

I always looked at my mind as a fortress, but never realized, how, at times, it’s just a cage! Brain~Mind~Imagination~What’s more important, reason or revelation? Is sanity a mere superstition? A myth, as is religion? Observing my observations, this “Harmonious Punk”, knows no moderation!

My mind is screaming! My imagination and demons are calling. One more step and over the edge I will be falling…

Don’t judge me because I don’t think as you do! This post, I will finish later, To Be Continued…

Stay up. Stay Human too!

#inthegrip #whiteknuckles #builtnotbought

Thought WithDrawl

The voices, they have returned and so has the difference between what is imagined and what is real become impossible to Discern, for them, the voices are thought thieves continually confusing me, making it hard to choose what to believe.

Pressured speech makes an explanation of this just outside of my reach.

!~Relief~OtherWise Known as~Disbelief~!

Frenzied thoughts that are hard to think~Suddenly catatonic and can’t even blink…

1,2,3,4~4,3,2,1~Trapped inside of my mind with no where to run…

I’ve become jaded and my reality has faded…

Stay up. Stay Human.

#inthegrip #whiteknuckles #builtnotbought

The Shiny Side of A Penny…

Around and around and around and around I go! Where it stops, only I am to know! I can barely come up for air in this bottomless pit of Despair…

Something smells fishy, but I keep on wondering, I keep on wishing, that maybe, someday, somethings, will turn out differently and I’ll have the ability to escape this fish-bowl reality and see The Shiny Side of A penny…

I can feel it throughout my whole body, but I know it’s all in my head abd long been, since I’ve said that I’ve felt it, or anything for that matter, in my heart…

I try to give a shit, but what good’s a shit for?! I’m tired of constantly having to fight as I wonder, “can I take any more”?…

Then, I see it! The Shiny Side of A penny, laying right there on the ground, heads up, and just waiting to be found…

Did this moment come too soon? I ponder as I smoke cigarettes and stare at the moon…

Stay up. Stay Human too…

#inthegrip #whiteknuckles #builtnotbought

OverExposure, Pt.1

It was inside the depiction of this fiction, when the mental Demons began to manifest in the flesh and rendered all other thoughts, well, useless…

Say goodbye to the Sovereign Savior! Only the lonely, when it is me that struggles to know me. First name Opie, last name Taylor…

Trying, word after word and line after line, to explain just what it is that is going on inside of my mind. Am I making any headway or is this just a waste of my fucking time?!?!?!?!?!?!

I don’t care! I’m gonna do it anyways. because I can’t keep from hearing what the voices in my head have to say!

Happiness is not a sin and most days, my inner-peace does not come from within. Surrounded by air that is just as cold as it is thin~the end is always a great place to begin…

Tryna figure out what to do with my mind. Constantly in search of something I’m unsure I’ll ever find. But, there’s got to be a way, because I’ve come too far to throw it all away.

Laying down to die each night so I can live to fight another day and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m an addict, my name is Jay…

Upside-down in a right side up world, and thinking about jumping…

Stay up. Stay human too!

#inthegrip #whiteknuckles #builtnotbought

Book of Mirrors

Hey, hi, and hello!

Trust is something that never came easily for me, nor was it r given freely. ~Somebody always paid a cost~Something was always lost~

This is because I always victimized myself, putting my actions, both past ans present, on a shelf.

So, it’s not hard to imagine how hard it was to not know, in which, was the right direction to go…

Promises are the lies that are being said and are seemingly, always being read. Truth be told is a coined phrase that, in which with, most mouths should not behold!

I want the things that I do not need and am constantly battling over which beast to feed. This, that, and the other, I’m tired of people that are never there, calling me Brother!

Acceptance is key! Oh shit! I was just stung by a bee! Let’s wait and see how long it takes for me to not be able to breathe!

~!Victim!~Blame!~Victim!~Blame!~Victim!~Blame!~

To me, life was always a game and I was always joking. Tryna breath only resulted in coughing, spitting, and choking! Actions are learned behaviors, and if don’t nothing change, life will always be a game and everything will always remain the same, a joke! What good is a tire with glass for spokes?!?!?!?

What are you gonna do about it? There’s nothing you can do about it, but everything I can do about it!

I’m tired of living by consequences. It’s made it hard to pick and choose, which battles to lose and which ones to continue to fight and what exactly is wrong when nothing feels right!

But, just as learned behaviors become action, they can be UNLEARNED too! Trust me! I wouldn’t lie to you, (no pun intended!).

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world”, Albert Einstein.

When the time comes for change, how will you know how? Who is it you will give the authority to show you who and how to be? And in doing so, does this really make me, ME??!!

Nothing is ever as it appears and it’s next to impossible writing in blood in my Book of Mirrors; it smears!

Stay up. Stay human too though!

#inthegrip #whiteknuckles #builtnotbought

Reverberation!

It was 5:55 am and his thoughts were just as thick as the fog inside of his mind. Truths smothered by insecurities!

It was seemingly impossible to concentrate when all I an do is perpetually Reverberate…

Thoughts and ideas bouncing off of the walls and down the halls of his mind, down his arm, to his hand, for my pen to find…

In Reverberation, nothing is concrete, there is no foundation. Brain, mind, Imagination! These things just keep happening, from the end, right fucking back to the beginning…

It was a beautiful sting, when I “Tattooed My Soul”, but it was the feeling I fell in love with. You know, letting go of the fallacy of control?!

My mind makes music. I know! I’m sick! Each thought is a note and each time it comes back, it’s been spun around and is now upside-down! My imagination is the station or, maybe, the instrument in which my emotions strum, bang, and FUCKING pound on so relentlessly~Reverberation!~I love the sound!

Some days, sometimes, it’s a pretty dirty thing, the music in my mind that is. Soap for my mind I no longer wish to find! Read my lips, JUST SAY NO TO CENSORSHIP!!!!!

I try to explain this to the people who say they love me, as well as those who are trying to help me, the best I fucking can! They nod in agreement with a fucking smile, but they really don’t understand!

The drum of thought is pounding as I sit here crying with my head in my hands…

Silence is deafening to me! The music will take over, overtake, and then, nothing’s real and everyone is fake!

Sometimes, it’s not even music that’s being made inside the concert that has become my mind, it’s just noise. Echoing sounds are all that I can find! Strumming, plucking, banging, and pounding, but oh so delicately and with a fineness…

This noise in my mind, often times, brings to my eyes, a blindness, and nothing helps, so there’s no use to even try…

By the way of the gun and with this music in my mind, today ought to be fun so long as I don’t go blind…

Maybe today, I’ll be the maestro, maybe I’ll be the conductor. Then I thought, who would that be good for?!

~!MANIC! PANIC! GOD DAMNED SCHIZOPHRENIC!~

I gotta go, for I can no longer afford to waste another breathe of thought! #builtnotbought

Cuz I got this friend you see inside of my head and I know he’s real cuz he makes me feel! He doesn’t tell me what I want to hear as he forces me to face my fears! and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on………

Reverberation!

Stay up. Stay human too!

#keyedup #inthegrip #whiteknuckles #builtnotbought