Curve The Light!

I was talkin to myself, tryna answer some questions. I could finally breathe as, Death just took her foot from my neck and if you ask me, she left a bad impression!

Curve The Light without any effort, without a fight. Just as I attempt to these crooked and twisted thoughts inside of my head, inside of my mind…

Trying harder to decide which me to be inside of these Twisting Realities…

Match_Books inside of the Match-Box~You can try but you’ll never turn back a clock!

I’m constantly Jaded because this love I feel is Jaded…

—>INCONSPICUOUS-&-ENVIOUS<—

Pre-meditated Adjudication and suddenly, I feel like I’m drowning~inadequate! I’m breathing under water! Don’t worry! Don’t hurry! It’s too late!!!

So, what’s up next? Ok, Ok…I’ll let ya know; I won’t make you weight, as that can get heavy! You know? When your thoughts jump up and levitate?!!!

But first, I must warn you, Honey! This is the XXX version! It ain’t free! So, BITCHES BETTER HAVE MY MONEY!!!

Hold up! Wait! First, I need a ride to the store! I’m outa Beer and smokes, and I fucken NEED more!

Ok! I’m back at it! I know! I know! I’m sorry if you panicked!

This next part is as much XXX as it is tragic! I confess, I had a Sadomasochist Accident! I learnt it from this chic I’m wit! At first she was a pacifist! But, now dat bitch an Anarchist!

~Curve The Light~

Wait! Can I get a re-do/ Scene One, Take two…

Where I live, I’m surrounded by churches. It’s a god damn miracle I ain’t burnt-up-yet! And just what is a miracle? Looky here! Looky here! I AM EMPIRACLE!!!

Thoughts that became actions in the un-describable shape of imagination that will always be the truest in theory because they will always have an ever-changing form! Unimaginative Norms! True North…

My moral compass won’t stop spinning! Hurry up! I cannot start over from the beginning!

The Light, it comes at me and as I twist away, it wraps itself around my head, which is now a ring, and my thoughts are getting ready to fight…

Now, this can happen during the day, but occurs mostly at night….

Stripped bare! My thoughts are now Bald! I just blew my brains all over the wall. It’s time to go to sleep. I need to go bleach my eyeballs. Chlorine Dreams! Curve the Light…

Stay up; Stay human…

#builtnotbought #inthegrip #whiteknuckles

Advertisements

Labels!

There’s all different kinds of Labels in this world. They come in all sorts of colors, shapes, and sizes. They have a million different reasons, meanings, and intentions. Some, even include a few surprises!

There are Labels on the food we eat, our beds, and even on the pillows on which we lay our heads! Some are accepted, while others, they will always be rejected with a malevolent level of acceptance…

But, when push comes to shove, the above mentioned Labels are not, today, the ones I wish to speak of…

I’m talking today about the Labels we put on others, the Labels that society gives us that cause an enormous amounts of mistrust…

Each Label has a definition, but who gets to be the one to define? How thick or thin are the lines? Some, are thin and barely make a sound, while others, are BLARING, thick, AND SO PROFOUND!

I’ve been called everything in the book! I’ve been given every Label. Shit, some I proudly took. Yeah, that’s right, read that again. I just ran out of ink. I’ll be right back; I gotta go grab another pen….

Some Labels though, are misunderstood. Their true meanings are much richer, much deeper than one would think, and I guess, as they should…

Be careful though, when throwing around Labels. Be cautious what you do, because that Label you gave me, just might be a better fit on you!!!

So, take those Labels from off of your pretty little head, and use them to cover the holes society has punched in your heart, INSTEAD!

Stay up; Stay human too…

#builtnotbought #inthegrip #whiteknuckles #fuckstigmas #jsutsaynotolabels

Twisting Realities

When Twisting Reality, one must be prepared to spend time in quite a few frames of a jagged reality. I climb, once again, through this incision and into my degeneration. I’m on a never-ending quest, holding onto my own Reverberation…

~OVERLAPPING REALMS~WORLDS COLLIDE~

I jump from universe to universe, looking for a new place to hide…

Sometimes, I wanna make myself small, so I can just hide from it all. Just close the door and sit in a silence I’ve never felt before as I crawl around on the floor, looking for something I am pretty sure can’t be found…

In one world, I become numb from my own insanity…

You were shot from a gun and I was launched from a cannon…

You’re gonna ricochet and I’m still not sure where the fuck it is I’m landin~I’m still so high; I’m not even gonna lie…

I hope, wherever it is, there is a smooth escape. One that doesn’t require a super-hero, with a cape…

I wake up and it HURTS! My eyes see one world, but my mind is in another Universe! I feel like I’m going backwards, but only, in reverse…

I FEEL LIKE DESTROYING SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL!

My thoughts are maniacal and have landed me on a planet with no moons, a planet that can only be, Diabolical! Fuck You! I’m sick of you too…

Some days, I’m on auto-tune. My mind is like a million balloons!

It’s in this jagged reality, frames are protruding into the next as they remain a hold of the ones from the past, the last one causing a cynical like illusion, a non-paranoid delusion. One in which is large enough to climb through and as I do, she screams, “I want to follow you”!

I’m agitated! I’m aggravated! I’m one of the few that is honest about it, and for that, I’m hated!

There’s a fly in the ointment, in the vasoline! Fuck it! I’ma just throw this lit match where you’re standing~over there in that pool of gasoline!

I can’t stop chewing my teeth! So, I’m headed to the Flip-Side, the in-between, the underneath…

i don’t like this world! I wanna go to the one from the past!

HOW LONG DOES THIS SHIT LAST!?

Twisting Realities inside somewhere I don’t wanna be…

Stay up; Stay human too…

#builtnotbought #inthegrip #whiteknuckles

when worlds collide…

i gotta confess, i’m a beautiful mess. it’s from those around me, from those i’ve chosen to surround me and not something i’ve done. this i can attest…

i hit my bong all stressy! sometimes, my house ain’t all that’s messy. it’s a reflection of my mind. i look, and i look, but order, i cannot find let alone define. constantly walking that line tryna convince myself that, if i step over, i’ll be fine. so, go ahead and unwind, go ahead, relax your spine…

looking really hard through the crax, and, between the lines…

when i take these pills like i’m prescribed off the shelf, it’s as if anothers’ skin i have jumped in and i’m thinking through anothers mind!

whatcha know bout life blackwell? “not much”…

whatcha know about love blackwell? “even less”…

here are two things i do know though, that encompass both…

are you ready for this????

1 )people are gonna do what they wanna do…

2) people ain’t gonna do what they don’t wanna do!

—>!READ THAT AGAIN!<—

i’m sick and because of this, so much will forever remain unfixed, but, i accept this…

life isn’t hard. life is life, but, this world is cruel enough. low fidelity~high voltage..when you’re dumb you gotta be tough, and my Daddy said i am neither…

i can really only speak for myself here and be my own devils advocate. recovery and this new life i seek, this new life i live, constantly forces me to do what i don’t wanna do. i’m talking about me, not you. all the things i used to do, i can no longer do…

i grew comfortable with being uncomfortable at a very young age. you would think this would make recovery easy…that would be a mistake…

i’m forced everyday to take un-calculated risks, to do things i’ve never done, to be successful. but, sometimes, that means i have to eat shit by the spoonful in order to remain uncomfortable, just to try and be comfortable….

i’m tired of fighting, i’m tired of hiding it, I”M FUCKING SICK! AND MY WORLDS, WILL CONTINUE TO COLLIDE! Please oh please, let me off of this ride!

stay up; stay human too…

#builtnotbought #inthegrip #whiteknuckles

Skin N Bones!

she’s a silly-heart, a dreamer. but i wouldn’t want to live in a world where i could only dream of her…

i’m just skin N bones. emotions, gone in the wind that so violently blows. where is it next that i will land? i really don’t know! i’ll be alright though, wherever it is, i suppose…

I been runnin a long time. i been gunnin even longer. what’s my next line? maybe i’ll leave you wonder~the damage is done. now there’s no where left to run. time to lean on my gun…

i feel so depleted, becuase i simply cannot keep up. i’m defeated…

the whole time, seeking and searching through my mind, looking for something i may never find, but i keep tellin myself, “i’ll be fine”!

there’s gotta be a way! i won’t stop untili get my way. i gotta find a way to loosen this noose, “away from all this abuse”…

her words held a different presence, but maybe that’s because i stole her innocence…

kept in the dark, in the closet with all my skeletons, till the end…

facing that face i see in the mirror, some things, some people have made themselves loud and clear…

i will just sit right here, wiping away all these left eyed tears…

i wrote this post line by line. “i did it! it’s over and i feel fine”!

i’m almost finished, so, “say goodbye for the very last time. you were the very last one in a very long line”! with the words you said to us, i guess you already said goodbye!

you’re promise was a promise written on a rubber check!

i don’t care what you say, i finally found my queen. sid N nancy 2019!

stay up; stay human too…

#builtnotbought #inthegrip #whiteknuckles

Hold me DOWN, not Back!

Good morning out there! I hope you all can hear me!? Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3….

Can somebody turn my mic up?!?!?!?!?!?

Living with someone that suffers from mental illnesses must be hard, I get that…But, sometimes, my home don’t feel like the home I attempt to make it because I’m constantly under attack!

It’s not that I don’t care, because I do, about what is wrong with you too…kindness, from my heart, it pours. But, my emotional instability has no room for yours!

You cannot lie to me! I can feel when something is wrong. Yet, you continue to refuse as if you have something to prove! I lied when I said I care, I don’t! I don’t care to be on your level of anger and fear. I reach out, sometimes it hurts me so much, I do so with tears. When you laugh at me it takes years to get back to right here….

I reach down, but you refuse my hand, and this, at times, makes me feel less of a man..I kept this post simple, but it’s effects, I hope, will ripple…

This world is hateful enough. When I’m at home, WE shouldn’t feel as if I hafta be tough….ENOUGH is ENOUGH!

My theory’s are proven, as right here I’m standing. There is no need to refute! Just love me, and let me love you!

Stay up; Stay Human too…

#builtnotbought #inthegrip #whiteknuckles